I was a lesbian when he met me
but I hadn’t made love to any girls yet
—didn’t know I wanted to
make love to any girls yet—
because I’d been told that that love
would make me burn in hell
and I was a good girl
—loved my Jesus—
so a good girl like me,
so good at sacrifice,
couldn’t possibly be in love with those
side-swept, black-brown bangs,
irreverent freckles and earphones
jammed above perfect lobes—
I just admired her.
And even Jesus would approve
of how much attention
I paid to that pageboy haircut,
that witty retort, the newspaper ink on
how angry I was that
her boyfriend wasn’t good enough for her,
how in a moment of weakness I thought
that I could do a better job.
A Georgia native, ABIGAIL PATTERSON has been an active participant in the Athens poetry scene, reading at local venues and for the University of Georgia’s radio station WUOG. She received her MA in Professional Writing from Kennesaw State University and lives in Fort Collins, Colorado with her husband and daughter.