It was summer in Iowa & our time together
brief: I swallow moonbeams & cola
& love sonnets until I bleed. Bled blue out on
the patio, barefoot & dancing in the rainstorm.
How long will it take to bury me, then uncover
my bones? Someday, I will only exist in memory,
in upside gritty Polaroids, floral perfume stained
on the sleeves of a silk blouse. I untangle myself
from dollar store linens, reach for a cherry cola
at midnight. My mother, the fortune teller, makes
rosaries out of dried baby’s breaths. Taught me
magic tricks, acts of erasure—tonight I sit in a
cold shower and sob, the soap bar skidding down
the drain. I eat glass shards and mounds of
sugar until my tonsils and stomach are bleeding,
rotting, combusting. She burns flowers at dawn in
a rented motel room in Louisiana, tells me don’t trust
men with biblical names. I make ransom letters
out of newspaper obituaries, naked and smoking,
creating fairy tales out of ashes. Ma, you wouldn’t
believe me if I set this place on fire tonight,
threw that cigarette at the velvet curtains, blew
the ashes all over the baroque ashtray, just wait—
ASHLEY HAJIMIRSADEGHI’s work has appeared in Into the Void Magazine and Corvid Queen, among others. She is a poetry reader at Mud Season Review, attended the International Writing Program’s Summer Institute, and was a Brooklyn Poets Fellow. She can be found at http://ashleyhajimirsadeghi.squarespace.com/