our backyard held
minotaurs & at night
i would click on
my flashlight
in search of them–
calling in wonder
& fear–
i wanted so badly
to know what kind
of voice
their bodies could hold–
alone & pacing–
bristling
ankle-high grass–

when my father is gone
who will mowe
the scraggly
labyrinth &
bring the beasts
glass to feed on–
whose father
doesn’t love
his sons
in a sort of
maze?
a monster fed
in the lonesomeness
of midnights–
oh every gay-boy
has been icarus–
a winged-shadow
built
in the silhouette
of a sky-scraper–
my wings from
snow–
there was not
enough wax & tar
for a boy
so late–
so undiscovered
& rare–
i am a rare boy
who first
loved his body
in the eyes of
the minotaurs–
their rigid
jaws & yellow
irises flashing
in the moonlight–
do you drink like your
father did?
snow angel-winged–
my flight is not
like the others–
this silhouette
i hold onto
when i look
out my
back window

& the grass
is hidden
by snow

& there
are no more minotaurs–
i love the way
i melt
in your blaze–
that is of course
the point of falling–
i did not fly
too close to
the sun– i flew
precisely
as close as
i wanted to–
my wings an
illusion
of deliberate
biology– your
son with the
ovaries &
flashlight–
sneaking
around the backyard
when he should
have been in bed–
your sleep-walking child

whose nightmares
were wild & never
held still
another queer
boy
making wings in
the basement
so his father won’t
catch him–
oh i know
icarus &
each time
i call home &
knot my tongue
before
i can tell my
father that i’m a boy
i feel his
wax dripping
down my throat–
sealing
the wounds–
oh icarus
i know what it feels
like– to
climb– to want
to find a ceiling
to burst through–
i hang up
the phone–
calling from
the cold
cement floor
of my parent’s base-
ment–
wings throbbing
in
the ocean
below

ROBIN GOW‘s poetry has recently been published in Synaesthesia, The Write Launch, FIVE:2:ONE, and Corbel Stone Press. Robin Gow is an undergraduate student at Ursinus College studying English, Creative Writing, and Spanish. He runs two poetry blogs and serves as the production editor of the Lantern literary magazine. He is an out and proud transgender man passionate about LGBT issues.